Spirituality

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5 min read

101 Affirmations for Self Love

Most of us would never talk to a friend the way we talk to ourselves. Here are 101 self-love affirmations, grouped by what you need, with a simple way to use each group.

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Jenny Dsouza

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6 September 2022

Two hands linking little fingers in a pinky promise

Self-love affirmations are short, kind sentences you say to yourself on purpose, so the voice in your head starts to sound more like a friend than a critic. You use them by picking a few that feel almost true, then repeating them at the same moment each day: at the mirror, in a journal, or just before you fall asleep.

Let's admit it. Most of us would never speak to a friend the way we speak to ourselves. We call ourselves lazy for resting, stupid for one mistake, too much or not enough depending on the day.

That voice didn't appear overnight, and it won't leave overnight either. But you can start answering it back. So here are 101 affirmations for self-love, grouped by what you might need on a given day, with a simple way to use each group.

Do affirmations for self-love actually work?

They can, with one honest catch. In a 2016 brain-imaging study on self-affirmation, people who reflected on the values that mattered most to them showed more activity in brain areas linked to thinking about the self and to reward. That's a hopeful sign that what we tell ourselves about ourselves isn't just noise.

Now the catch. A 2009 study on positive self-statements found that people with low self-esteem who repeated "I'm a lovable person" felt worse afterwards, not better. When a sentence feels like a lie, the mind argues with it, and the argument wins.

So the trick is to choose words you can almost believe today. If "I love myself" makes you flinch, try "I am learning to love myself." That small bridge is still a step in the right direction.

How do you use self-love affirmations?

Pick three from the lists below. Not thirty. Three that make you pause, either because they feel good or because they sting a little.

Then tie them to something you already do every day, so you don't have to remember. Brushing your teeth, the kettle boiling, the moment you plug in your phone at night. Say them slowly, out loud if you can. If you can't, write them down.

Give it two weeks before you judge it. And notice how you treat people around you. When we're a little more secure in who we are, we tend to give others the benefit of the doubt too. If you'd like to go deeper on the inner voice itself, our guide to the power of positive self-talk is a good next read.

Affirmations for knowing your worth

How to use these: say them at the mirror in the morning, looking yourself in the eye. It will feel awkward. Do it anyway, and keep going until it feels a little less strange.

Affirmations for accepting yourself as you are

How to use these: keep one on a sticky note on your mirror or your laptop. When you catch yourself picking at your reflection or your to-do list, read it once and take a slow breath.

Affirmations for boundaries and saying no

How to use these: say one under your breath before a hard conversation, or write it at the top of your journal on a day you know people will ask a lot of you. They are a reminder that your no is allowed.

If saying no is the hard part for you, it often comes from wanting others to sign off on who we are. Our piece on why it's worth letting go of external validation picks up exactly there.

Affirmations for forgiving yourself

How to use these: these belong in a journal. Write one at the top of the page, then write underneath it the mistake you keep replaying. Finish with one line on what it taught you. Close the notebook. You're done for today.

Affirmations for loving your body

How to use these: say them while you do something kind for your body, like putting on moisturiser, stretching after you wake up, or drinking your first glass of water. Let the action and the words happen together.

Affirmations for trusting your feelings

How to use these: when you notice a strong feeling, pause and write down one of these, then name the feeling in a single word underneath. You don't need to fix it. You're only practising listening to yourself.

Affirmations for confidence and growth

How to use these: these are for mornings, especially the ones that start with dread. Pick one, say it before you check your phone, and then do the first small task on your list while the words are still fresh.

Think of the friend who wants to start a business while everyone around them lists the reasons it might fail. If the loop in their head is "I'm too young, too old, not qualified enough", that becomes the story. A sentence like "It's okay if I don't know everything yet" gives them a different one to rehearse.

Affirmations for love, peace and gratitude

How to use these: save these for just before sleep. Lie down, put a hand on your chest, and repeat one slowly three times as your breathing settles. If bedtime is when your mind gets loudest, our sleep affirmations are made for exactly that moment.

What if the affirmations don't feel true yet?

That's normal, and it doesn't mean you're doing it wrong. Go back to the bridge: add "I am learning to" or "I am open to" in front of any sentence that feels too big. "I am open to believing I am enough" is still an affirmation, and it's one your mind won't fight.

And if the critical voice stays loud and harsh for weeks, or it starts to get in the way of daily life, please talk to a doctor or a therapist. Asking for help is one of the kindest things you can do for yourself.

We believe self-love is a practice, built one small kind sentence at a time. So start with three. Say them tomorrow, and the day after. You are worth that effort, and you are not doing this alone.

Which affirmation are you starting with? Tell us in the comments. Someone else might need it too.

Lifeism shares ideas and practices for reflection. It is not medical, psychological or financial advice. Read our Disclaimer.

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Jenny Dsouza

Senior Writer