Four Stages of Spiritual Growth

The four stages of spiritual growth, as taught by Michael Bernard Beckwith, are Victim (life is happening to me), Manifester (life is happening by me), Channel (life is happening through me) and Being (life is happening as me). Most of us move back and forth between them, so wherever you find yourself today is a perfectly good place to start.

We all go looking for something bigger at some point. Sometimes it's curiosity. More often, if we're honest, it's because we've hit a wall and the old way of living has stopped working.

And when that happens, it helps to have a map. Not a rulebook, not a ladder to climb faster than everyone else. Just a simple way to see where you are, so you can choose where to go next. That's what these four stages offer.

What is spiritual growth, really?

Spirituality means different things to different people. For some, it lives inside a religion, with its prayers, rituals and community. For others, it's a softer sense that there is something larger than us, and that life has meaning beyond the to-do list.

Spiritual growth is the slow work of living more in line with that larger sense. It's becoming more honest with yourself, more aware of your patterns, and more willing to change them. It can look like an hour of silent meditation. It can also look like writing three lines in a notebook before bed.

So, before you go any further, try this. Write one sentence that finishes "For me, spirituality is..." There's no right answer. It just gives you something to measure against the stages below.

Where do the four stages come from?

The framework comes from Reverend Michael Bernard Beckwith, founder of the Agape International Spiritual Center. You may know him from the 2006 documentary The Secret. He sets the stages out in his book Life Visioning, published by Sounds True, and he has taught them for decades through his Life Visioning work. Mindvalley has a helpful overview of the four stages if you'd like another angle.

What makes his map so useful is how plain it is. Each stage comes down to one small word: to, by, through, as. You can remember it on a bad day.

Here they are at a glance:

• Stage 1, Victim: things are happening to me.
• Stage 2, Manifester: things are happening by me.
• Stage 3, Channel: things are happening through me.
• Stage 4, Being: things are happening as me.

Know that the stages are not a straight line

This is the part people miss. You don't finish Stage 1, get a certificate and move on. You can be in a very different stage in different parts of your life at the same time.

I might be calm and trusting about my work and completely in victim mode about my health. You might feel deeply connected in your friendships and still blame the universe for your bank balance. That's simply being human.

So, be gentle and be honest. Honesty is the whole exercise here. If you pretend you're further along than you are, the map stops being useful.

Recognise Stage One: Victim (things are happening to me)

In this stage, life feels like weather. It just happens to us. We believe our circumstances, our family, where we were born or what we look like decide how our life will turn out, and there's nothing much we can do about it.

The giveaway is the question we keep asking: "Why is this happening to me?" It comes with a lot of blaming, and a lot of feeling lost and anxious about where things are going.

Let's be clear, there's no shame here. Hard things really do happen to people. The shift starts with noticing where you've handed over all your power, and taking a little of it back. Try this: the next time you catch yourself asking "Why me?", swap it for "What's one thing I can do about this today?" Even a small answer counts.

Move into Stage Two: Manifester (things are happening by me)

As we grow out of victimhood, something wakes up. We start to believe we can shape our experience. We're no longer only reacting. We set intentions, use affirmations and visualisation, and see that our thoughts and choices have real effects. This is the stage The Secret talks about most.

It feels wonderful, and it is a real step forward. Taking responsibility for your life puts you back in charge.

The trap is control. In this stage we can start believing we must make everything happen, and that anything going wrong is our fault for thinking the wrong thoughts. That's exhausting. So, keep the responsibility and loosen the grip. Pick one intention for the week, write it down, take one action towards it, and then let the outcome be what it is. If this stage is where you are, our guide to manifestation journaling is a good companion.

Surrender into Stage Three: Channel (things are happening through me)

Here, we let go of the idea that we have to force things. We still act, we still show up, but we begin to sense there is a bigger purpose moving through our lives. We become less of a director and more of an instrument.

Beckwith describes this as surrendering personal will to a higher intelligence. You might call it God, the universe, life or simply trust. The words matter less than the feeling: "I don't have to carry all of this alone."

The practice that supports this stage is stillness. Meditation helps you hear what wants to come through, rather than only what you want. Start with five minutes, eyes closed, and one question: "What is mine to do today?" If you're new to sitting still, these easy everyday meditations are a kind place to begin. And if letting go feels hard, this piece on the law of detachment may help.

Rest in Stage Four: Being (things are happening as me)

This is the stage that's hardest to put into words, and that's part of the point. In Being, the sense of separation softens. We stop experiencing ourselves as one small person against the world, and start experiencing ourselves as part of it.

The ego takes a back seat. We feel connected to everyone and everything around us. Spiritual traditions describe this in many ways: oneness, presence, being part of one fabric of consciousness.

Few of us live here all the time. Most of us get glimpses. A morning walk where everything feels alive. A moment of taking someone's hand and feeling no gap between you. Notice those moments when they come. Write them down. They are not accidents, they are previews.

Map where you are today

So, how do we actually use these stages? Start simple. Take a page in your journal and write down the main areas of your life: health, work, money, relationships, family, creativity, spirit.

Next to each one, write the stage you're honestly in. To me, by me, through me or as me. Then, for each area, answer a few questions:

• If I were living as my highest self here, what would that look like?
• What would I stop doing?
• Who would I be, and what would I be doing?
• What is one small step I can take this week?

That last question is the one that matters. A map is only useful once you take the first step on it.

Expect some resistance, and keep going anyway

If you read all this and something in you pushes back, that's completely normal. As we start changing the way we think and perceive the outside world, we tend to cling to our old beliefs. Part of us would rather stay with the familiar, even when the familiar hurts.

You don't have to fight that resistance. Just notice it, name it and keep going. One honest journal page at a time.

And if you find you're stuck in that low "everything is happening to me" feeling for weeks, and it's weighing on your sleep, your work or your relationships, please talk to a doctor or a therapist. Getting support is one of the bravest things you can do.

Questions to ask yourself about spiritual growth

If you like to reflect in writing, here are some prompts to take with you:

• Which stage am I in, and in which area of my life?
• Did I feel drawn to one stage, or pushed away from one?
• What has been the one thing stopping me lately?
• What small step could I take towards moving past it?
• What have my "aha" moments been recently?
• Has meditation or journaling changed how I see myself?
• What childhood experiences have shaped the way I see life?
• What would my highest level of spiritual awakening look like?

See the four stages side by side

Stage 1: Victim consciousness (to me)

• Practice: little to no spiritual practice yet.
• Belief: life is controlled by outside forces.
• Typical thought: "Why is this happening to me?"
• Growth edge: giving up blame.

Stage 2: Manifester consciousness (by me)

• Practice: affirmations and visualisation.
• Belief: I can shape my life with the law of attraction.
• Typical thought: "I can attract what I want."
• Growth edge: giving up the need to control.

Stage 3: Channel consciousness (through me)

• Practice: meditation and visualisation.
• Belief: life is lived in surrender to something greater.
• Typical thought: "A bigger plan is moving through me."
• Growth edge: giving up ego and the sense of separation.

Stage 4: Being consciousness (as me)

• Practice: meditation and other transformative practices.
• Belief: a sense of oneness with everyone and everything.
• Typical thought: "I am one with life and everyone in it."
• Growth edge: resting in limitless awareness.

We believe every one of us is already on this path, whether we've named it or not. You don't need to rush to Stage Four. You just need to take the next honest step from where you are. You're doing better than you think.

Which stage are you in right now, and in which part of your life? Tell us in the comments. We'd love to hear from you.