Audre Lorde Quotes on Bravery and Authenticity

Audre Lorde's quotes on bravery and authenticity all say the same brave thing in different ways: you will be afraid, and you speak and live as yourself anyway, because silence was never going to keep you safe. If you've been hanging back for fear of judgment, her words are a gentle push to take one small step towards being fully you.

We've all swallowed a sentence we wanted to say. In a meeting, at the dinner table, in a relationship that needed one honest conversation. We tell ourselves we're keeping the peace. Mostly, we're just scared.

So if you've been keeping to yourself lately, or a little smaller than you really are, this one is for you. Read these slowly. Pick the one that stings a bit. That's usually the one you need.

Who Was Audre Lorde?

Audre Lorde was born in New York City in 1934 to West Indian immigrant parents and died in 1992. She was a poet, essayist, librarian and teacher, and in her own words, she was "Black, lesbian, mother, warrior, poet". Her life's work confronted racism, sexism, classism and homophobia, and the Poetry Foundation's biography of Audre Lorde is a good place to start if you want the full story.

Her best-known books include The Cancer Journals, her account of living with breast cancer, Sister Outsider: Essays and Speeches, Zami: A New Spelling of My Name and A Burst of Light. Her words can light a fire. They can also make you question the choices you've been making on autopilot.

We've checked each quote below against her books, interviews and reliable quotation sources, and we've told you where each one comes from. Where a line is often credited to the wrong book, or to the wrong person, we say so.

How Do You Stay Brave When You're Afraid?

Lorde never pretended fear goes away. She simply refused to let it make her decisions.

“When I dare to be powerful, to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid.”

Audre Lorde, The Cancer Journals

Notice she doesn't say the fear disappears. It just stops being the most important thing in the room. When you're working towards something you truly care about, the fear of failing or being judged fades, because there's something louder to listen to.

“but when we are silent we are still afraid, so it is better to speak”

Audre Lorde, from the poem "A Litany for Survival" in The Black Unicorn

Just before these lines, Lorde writes that when we speak, we're afraid our words won't be heard or welcomed. Then she makes the most practical point in the whole poem: you're scared either way, so you might as well be scared and heard. You can read the full poem, "A Litany for Survival", at the Poetry Foundation. It's worth a slow read.

“Your silence will not protect you.”

Audre Lorde, "The Transformation of Silence into Language and Action"

Often, we hide our true feelings in the hope that saying nothing will keep us safe. Lorde said this in a 1977 talk, written after a breast cancer scare made her look hard at everything she'd left unsaid. Staying silent in the face of unfairness, or during a conversation that matters, doesn't protect us. It just means the hard thing happens without our voice in it.

So, try this today: think of one small truth you've been swallowing. Say it out loud to one safe person, or write it down if that's all you can manage right now. Start small. Small still counts.

Why Does Staying Silent Hurt So Much?

This next quote is one of the most shared on the internet as Audre Lorde's words, and it does appear in her work. But the words belong to her daughter.

“Tell them about how you're never really a whole person if you remain silent, because there's always that one little piece inside you that wants to be spoken out, and if you keep ignoring it, it gets madder and madder and hotter and hotter, and if you don't speak it out one day it will just up and punch you in the mouth from the inside.”

Lorde's daughter, quoted by Audre Lorde in "The Transformation of Silence into Language and Action"

Lorde was struggling to write that talk on silence, and when she told her daughter about it, this is what her daughter said. Lorde was wise enough to know it was better than anything she could write, and she put it in. We love it for exactly that reason. It's how a young person would say it, and it's completely true.

Whatever we don't express doesn't vanish. It builds up, like heat under a lid. And one day it comes out, usually at the wrong moment and at the wrong person. So, if there's something burning inside you right now, let a little of it out on purpose, before it decides to come out on its own.

Accept Who You Are, All of It

Authenticity starts on the inside, long before anyone else gets to see it. Lorde knew that the parts of ourselves we hide are the parts other people can use against us.

“Nothing I accept about myself can be used against me to diminish me.”

Audre Lorde, "Eye to Eye: Black Women, Hatred, and Anger", Sister Outsider

Think about it. The insult that really lands is the one that touches something we're already ashamed of. Once you've made peace with that part of yourself, it loses its power to wound you. That's radical self-acceptance, and it takes real bravery.

“Only by learning to live in harmony with your contradictions can you keep it all afloat.”

Audre Lorde, in an interview collected in Conversations with Audre Lorde

This line is often credited to Sister Outsider, but it comes from one of her interviews. You don't have to be one neat, consistent thing. You can be tender and fierce. Ambitious and tired. Sure of yourself on Monday and full of doubt by Thursday. You don't need to resolve every contradiction, just to stop fighting yourself over them.

“We have been raised to fear the yes within ourselves, our deepest cravings.”

Audre Lorde, "Uses of the Erotic: The Erotic as Power", Sister Outsider

Many of us were taught, from very early on, that wanting things deeply is risky, or selfish, or a little embarrassing. So we learned to want less out loud. Lorde invites us to notice that yes inside us, name it and take it seriously.

“You cannot, you cannot use someone else’s fire. You can only use your own. And in order to do that, you must first be willing to believe that you have it.”

Audre Lorde, the opening words of I Am Your Sister: Collected and Unpublished Writings of Audre Lorde

We spend so much energy borrowing other people's fire. Their goals, their timelines, their idea of a good life. But it never quite warms us. Your fire is already in you. The first step is believing it's there. So, take a moment alone and ask yourself: what do I want, for my own reasons, not for anyone's approval? If you catch yourself chasing approval a lot, our piece on why to stop seeking external validation is a good next read.

Let Your Desires Point the Way

“Our visions begin with our desires.”

Audre Lorde, interviewed by Claudia Tate in Black Women Writers at Work

Before there's a plan, there's a want. Our desires turn into a vision, the vision turns into action, and action slowly turns into a life. So dare to dream, and be brave enough to admit what you actually want, even if it's just to yourself in a journal tonight.

“What we have to do must be done in the now.”

Audre Lorde, "My Words Will Be There"

You'll often see this shared as "Life is very short. What we have to do must be done in the now," and credited to "The Transformation of Silence into Language and Action". It actually comes from a later essay, "My Words Will Be There", where Lorde looks back on the deaths of Martin Luther King Jr. and Robert Kennedy and a friend's accident, all of which, she says, made her see that life is very short.

We all secretly believe we have more time than we do. Lorde's answer is priority. Pick one thing you keep postponing, and do the first ten minutes of it this week.

Make Room for Pain, and Care for Yourself

“Pain is important: how we evade it, how we succumb to it, how we deal with it, how we transcend it.”

Audre Lorde, in an interview with Nina Winter for Interview with the Muse (1978)

It takes courage to look honestly at our own pain. Some days we run from it, some days it flattens us, and some days we find a way through. Lorde treats all four as part of the story. Next time something hurts, try simply asking: am I evading this, or am I dealing with it?

“Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.”

Audre Lorde, A Burst of Light

Lorde wrote this while living with cancer, learning the hard way that overextending herself was not the same as stretching herself. So please, don't feel guilty for resting. Taking care of yourself is how you stay well enough to show up for everything and everyone else. Put one non-negotiable act of care in your diary this week, and protect it like any other appointment.

Love Deeply, and Lean on Each Other

“Each time you love, love as deeply as if it were forever.”

Audre Lorde, from the poem "For Each of You"

In the poem, the line carries on: "only nothing is eternal." That's what makes it brave. She isn't promising that love lasts forever. She's asking us to love fully anyway, knowing it might not. What is braver than loving deeply without knowing how it ends? If that feels hard right now, our piece on why we should embrace vulnerability may help.

“The love expressed between women is particular and powerful because we have had to love in order to live; love has been our survival,”

Audre Lorde, "My Words Will Be There"

Lorde was talking about her love poems and about love between women in particular. Her words also speak to every friendship and sisterhood that has kept a woman going. Reach out to one woman who has lifted you up, and tell her so. For more words like these, see our list of women empowerment quotes.

Listen as Bravely as You Speak

“I learned so much from listening to people.”

Audre Lorde, "An Interview: Audre Lorde and Adrienne Rich", Sister Outsider

Lorde is remembering her time teaching poetry at Tougaloo College in Mississippi, where she says she began to learn about courage, and began to learn to talk. In the same breath she adds that the only thing she had was honesty and openness. Authenticity also means listening without armour, and letting other people's truths change you. In your next real conversation, try listening to understand, not to reply.

Try This: One Sentence You Haven't Said

Here's a small practice to carry Lorde's words into your week. It takes five minutes.

1. Pick one quote from this page. The one that made you a little uncomfortable is usually the right one.
2. Write down one sentence you haven't said. It could be a need, a no, an opinion or an "I love you". Just one sentence.
3. Choose a safe place to say it. A trusted friend, a journal, or the person it's meant for, if you're ready.
4. Say it, then notice how you feel. Afraid, probably. Lighter, too. Both can be true.

Be Brave Enough to Be You

We believe that every time you choose your own voice over silence, you get a little more of yourself back. Lorde showed us it's possible to be afraid and brave in the very same breath. You don't have to do it perfectly. You just have to begin.

Start with one line, and let it travel with you this week.

Which of these Audre Lorde quotes stays with you the most? Tell us in the comments below.