Understanding the Law of Detachment (with Examples)

Countless articles have been written on the Law of Attraction and how to use it. It’s usual pitfalls, where you are going wrong, what you could do better, and much more. However, very little has been written about the Law of Detachment, its complementary law.

The Law of Detachment is equally important in spiritual growth and development. It is one of the major Laws of Spirituality. While the most popular spiritual reference for the Law of Detachment in modern times is Stoicism, if we look to the past, many religions also espoused it. Jainism, Buddhism, and Taoism to name a few. Each religion (including Christianity) talks about the law of detachment.

What is the Law of Detachment?

The law of detachment is a spiritual principle where you let go of the attachment to the outcome in situations where you have no control over it. The law of detachment is opposite to the law of attraction, and it doesn't mean you can't do anything to change your situation.

The law of detachment simply means that you realize some things are out of your control, so you accept them and let them go. You don't waste energy on trying to change what's already happened or worrying about what might happen in the future, and instead focus on enjoying life as it comes to you.

The Law of Detachment also means not imposing your thoughts, ideas, and outcomes on the world around you. People come from diverse backgrounds and experiences and letting go of our judgments aids us, it brings new experiences to our lives and opens paths in our lives that we’d never imagined.

Another important aspect of the Law of detachment is uncertainty. Being comfortable with not knowing and putting in your 100% anyway. A lot of being okay with uncertainty has to do with the trust in the universe (or God) that no matter what happens, you will be directed towards your outcome eventually.

The Law of Detachment brings with it a sense of newness – like something amazing is about to happen. You treat your life as an adventure. You are an explorer. Sometimes you find the most wonderful places and reach your destination. Other times you end up at a dead end and have no option but to turn around and try another path.

Things the Law of Detachment is Not

It’s not about giving up your dreams. 

If you have a dream that is important to you, the law of detachment won't keep you from pursuing it—it will just help guide your energy in a direction that is productive. It will help you get out of your own way

It’s not apathy towards your life or not caring about it. 

Know the difference between apathy and detachment. Apathy is indifference to, or rejection of, all emotions including love. Detachment is a way of moving through life without being attached to outcomes or expectations that may or may not come true. The Law of Detachment is purely detaching yourself from the outcome. You work equally hard towards your goals with passion. Then you leave the outcome of that up to the universe.

It’s not about ignoring emotions.

Or pretending they don't exist (this would be counterproductive). Instead, it's about learning to understand emotions deeply so that we can then let go of them when they become obstacles in our lives instead of letting them control us in ways that take away from our potential happiness and success.

It’s not about letting go of things you love.

It's about accepting that those things are going to end one day anyway so why spend your energy worrying about them? 

The law of detachment doesn't mean being selfish or lazy.

It's not about ignoring the needs of others or being irresponsible with your time and energy. Instead, it means finding balance in all areas of your life so that you can focus on what truly matters most.

Examples of the Law of Detachment

Here are a few examples from our everyday life that can help us to understand the Law of Detachment a bit better:

Understanding that the end result is not in your hand. 

If you are a student, working towards a big exam, you burn the night oil and study hard. You prepare for your exams. You stay positive through the preparation, hoping for the best possible result. However, once you finish writing the exam, you let go of the outcome. You stop wondering about how you performed and what was the answer to that question. You just let it go and detach yourself from the outcome. In this  situation, only putting in the necessary handwork is in your control the final grade is no longer in your control so there is no point in obsessing about it.

Que sera sera.

Say you put in a bid for a home. You love the house, you did your homework, put in the best possible offer, and did all the background checks. Now all you can do is wait. Instead of stressing about the bid or the home, you accept the simple fact of the universe that whatever is meant to be shall be, irrespective of your preferences and wishes . If not this, something else that suits your needs better is in store for you.

Be open to new experiences.

If you are going on a date, look forward to a unique new experience. Don’t make a list of possible drawbacks of this person even before you meet them. Leave some room for them to surprise you. Be in the moment and authentically you. Humans are not  inanimate objects that come with a 'How-to Use' brochure. You can never predict a person easily. On the other hand, enjoy the flow of the conversation with a new person.

Be positive yet follow the principle of contingency.

If you are an entrepreneur starting a new company, stay focused and positive. Don’t anticipate troubles and issues all the time. Plan and prepare. But also accept that you will face certain challenges along the way. If things work out, great. If they don't, that's okay too. You have a great story to tell, amazing experiences, and a practical MBA. All of which are way more valuable than living a stressful life. It is possible to be successful even without using the law of detachment. But it may be far less peaceful and happy. 

Respect an individual's choices.

If you are a new parent, do everything that is in your power for your child. But don’t expect them to take the direction you want in their life. You give them all the tools to be successful, but the ultimate course of their life is going to be set by them. Detaching yourself from the outcome will let you enjoy the time you have with your children instead of constantly nagging them.

The law of detachment can also be applied to situations where you’re feeling anxious or stressed out about something (like exams or work deadlines), which will help relieve your anxiety by allowing it to happen naturally instead of trying to force results through excessive worrying.

While the Law of Attraction is easy to understand in theory, especially after the examples, it is, however, quite difficult to practice it. Here are a few tips to help you through the day when practicing the Law of Detachment becomes difficult.

Tips to Practice the Law of Detachment

Here are a few ways to practice the 'Law of Detachment' in your personal life-

Affirmations

Choose a mantra or an affirmation of universal trust and letting go. And whenever thoughts of uncertainty arise where you are pondering something that is not in your control, say the mantra and “let it go”.

Breathing Exercises

Close your eyes and take deep breaths. Sometimes the simple act of taking deep breaths can draw more oxygen to the brain and you can better control your thoughts

Spiritual Development

Be present within yourself. Close your eyes and take one deep breath. Now focus on being fully present at the moment. Feel your presence and awareness right behind your eyes. Now stay there till you feel centered and relaxed. 

Exercise and Fitness

Exercising can take your attention away from unnecessary questions and focus on the present. It also releases happy hormones and puts you in a better mood. Exercise promotes body positivity, healthy lifestyle and a rush of oxygen and hormones that can keep you in high spirits throughout the day.

Relaxing activities 

An empty mind is a devil's workshop. Distract yourself. Do something you love. Take a nap, play an engaging game, and catch up with friends. If you feel that your own thoughts are constantly nagging your, explore good literature, take up crosswords or simply grow some plants around you. Staying away from your negative thoughts can reduce the pressure on yourself and lets the universe work things out.

So, if you practice the Law of Attraction along with the Law of Detachment, you will feel happier, content, and more in control. You will be less stressed, and you will enjoy your life like every day is a new adventure. Do the work, put in the time, and go all in. And then leave it up to the universe to do the magic.

Remember that the law of detachment is a spiritual principle that teaches you to let things flow without expecting an outcome so that you can be more present at the moment and live a more fulfilling life.