5 Ridiculously Simple Tips to Calm Yourself

The quickest ways to calm yourself are the simplest ones: a hand on your chest, a slow breath out, a hug you give yourself. None of them fixes what set you off, but each one can take the edge off in under five minutes, so you can think again.

Anxiety can hit us anywhere. A message we weren't expecting, an email with a sharp tone, a news alert at the wrong moment, and suddenly the chest is tight and the mind is racing ahead to every bad ending.

We've all been there. And in that moment, nobody wants a lecture or a ten-step programme. You want something you can do right now, with your own two hands, wherever you are.

So here are five. They really are ridiculously simple. That's the point. Before you start, make sure you're somewhere safe: not driving, not operating machinery, somewhere you can close your eyes for a minute without it being a risk to you or anyone else.

Put a hand over your heart

Place your hand flat on your chest, over your heart. Feel the warmth and the gentle pressure. If it feels good, move your hand in slow, small circles. Take two or three deep breaths and, if you have a mantra, say it softly. If you don't, "I'm okay" works just fine.

Why bother? In one randomised trial of self-soothing touch, people who placed a hand on their heart during a stressful task had lower levels of the stress hormone cortisol afterwards than people who didn't. Interestingly, they didn't report feeling less stressed, so think of this as a gentle signal to your body rather than an instant mood switch.

How to do it in two minutes: hand on heart, eyes closed, five slow breaths, one "I'm okay" on each exhale.

Rest a hand on your forehead

The pause matters more than the forehead here. Resting a hand on your brow, or cradling your face in both hands, is one of the gentle gestures suggested in self-compassion researcher Kristin Neff's supportive touch exercise. She also says plainly that what feels soothing differs from person to person, so explore.

We'll be honest with you: the old idea that a hand on the forehead "rushes blood to the brain" isn't something we can back up, so we've let it go. What a hand on the forehead does do is make you stop. It's hard to scroll, type or argue with someone while your hands are on your own head.

How to do it in one minute: sit down, lean forward slightly and let your forehead rest in your palm. Close your eyes. Let the weight of your head go into your hand for ten slow breaths.

Breathe out longer than you breathe in

When we're anxious, our breathing goes fast and shallow. Slowing the exhale is one of the most reliable ways to bring it back down. The NHS has a simple calming breathing exercise for stress, anxiety and panic that takes a few minutes and can be done anywhere. And in a small Stanford study of five-minute daily breathing practices, an exhale-focused technique called cyclic sighing improved mood more than the same amount of mindfulness meditation over a month.

How to do it in five minutes: breathe in through your nose, then take a second short sip of air on top. Now let it all out slowly through your mouth, for longer than the in-breath took. Repeat for as long as you need, up to five minutes.

The earlier version of this article recommended the Wim Hof breathing method here. We still think it's interesting, but it isn't really a calm-down tool. In a study of people trained in the method, the breathing sharply raised adrenaline. That's the opposite of what you want mid-panic. If you're curious, try it on a good day, seated or lying down, following the official guidance, which warns it can occasionally make people pass out. Never near water and never while driving.

Give yourself a hug

Nothing quite compares to a hug from someone who loves you. But when you live alone, or the people you love are far away, your own arms are still right here.

And they count for something. The same self-soothing touch trial found that both being hugged and touching yourself kindly were linked with a lower cortisol response to stress than no touch at all. It's a small study, and it measured hormones rather than feelings, but it's a lovely reason not to feel silly about it.

How to do it in one minute: cross your arms over your chest and wrap your hands around your shoulders or upper arms. Give a gentle squeeze. Hold for at least ten seconds, longer if you like, and breathe.

Comb your hair, slowly

This sounds simple because it is. We used to say combing your hair releases happy hormones. We can't verify that, so we won't claim it. What we can say is that it's a perfect little mindfulness practice hiding in plain sight.

The NHS describes mindfulness as paying more attention to the present moment, including the sensations in your body, and says it can improve mental wellbeing. Slow, repetitive strokes of a brush are full of sensation: the pull, the scalp, the rhythm. It's very hard to spiral when you're paying that much attention to something so ordinary.

How to do it in three minutes: find a brush or comb that feels nice. Close your eyes. Count fifty slow strokes, breathing out on each one. If your mind wanders off, notice, and come back to the count.

Practise when you're already calm

Here's the part most of us skip. These tips work best when they're familiar, and the worst time to learn something new is in the middle of a panic. So try each one on an ordinary afternoon. Notice which one your body likes. Make a note of it on your phone.

Then tell someone close to you. "If I'm getting wound up, remind me to do the hand-on-heart thing." That way, when it matters, you're not starting from scratch. If you'd like more to keep in your back pocket, our 11 ways to feel better in any moment and these easy yoga poses to relieve stress pair well with everything here.

One more thing, said gently. These tips are for the everyday kind of anxious. If anxiety, fear or panic is showing up most days, or the things you try yourself aren't helping, the NHS advice is to talk to a doctor or a therapist. That's not giving up on yourself. It's getting help, and you deserve it.

We believe calm is something you can come back to, one breath, one squeeze, one slow stroke of a comb at a time. And when the day knocks you sideways, accepting the chaos is often the first step back.

So be kind to yourself today. You're doing better than you think. We're right here with you.

Which of these works best for you? Tell us in the comments. We'd love to hear what helps.