Why the Pursuit of Happiness is Actually Making You Unhappy

If you don’t want to be unhappy, stop chasing happiness. Your level of happiness does not define the success or failure of your life.

Happiness is a state of mind that everyone desires. It's easy to want happiness and even easier to chase after it, but you'll never find it if you're always looking for something else.


Happiness has nothing to do with money, success, or relationships; those things just make us more likely to experience happiness because they increase our sense of security (which we need before we can feel free enough to be happy).

I never understood people who used to say things like, "I wish I were happier." Or: "I would be so much happier if only…" But now I understand why they say these things: They don't know what happiness means because they have never experienced true happiness themselves!

Happiness is an emotion not a way of life

Happiness is an emotion, not a state of being. Happiness is not a permanent condition, and it certainly isn’t something you can maintain all the time. It's also not a way of life—to think that there's some secret formula for being happy all the time is simply unrealistic and unhealthy.

Happiness is not a constant; it comes and goes in waves, ebbing and flowing like the tides of the ocean over time. And when we measure our lives by its presence or absence rather than by how we live them every day, we may find ourselves taking our happiness more seriously than we should—and thus doing harm to ourselves if things don't go exactly as planned (which they often don't).

Stop Seeking Permanent Happiness

A common misconception is that happiness is a permanent state. Most people think of it as a destination, but it's not. Happiness isn't something that you reach and then stay there forever, like the top of a mountain or your favorite restaurant's parking lot. Happiness is fleeting; it comes and goes in waves, sometimes lasting days at a time and sometimes disappearing for months before returning again.

It's also important to remember that while happiness may seem like something we should always be striving towards (and some people do strive towards it), there are many things besides our own individual happiness that can make us happy on any given day: our friends, family members, pets—even strangers who happen to smile back at us when we smile at them can bring us joy!

Happiness isn't a barometer for success or failure.

Often, we tend to set up happiness as a barometer for success or failure. We use it as an excuse not to try new things, or we measure our achievements based on how happy we feel when we accomplish something instead of looking at what really matters: whether or not that achievement actually makes us better off than we were before.

As someone who has spent most of her life worrying about being happy enough, I know all too well how easy it is to fall into this trap and let our emotions take over our decisions about everything from career choices to relationships.

Everything won't always be happy, and that's okay.

One of the best things about being human is that we're not always happy. This really is the whole point of the article. There are so many emotions to experience, and it's okay to be sad or angry or disappointed or stressed out or scared sometimes. You shouldn't feel guilty for your negative emotions; they're only human! If you're constantly trying to be happy, you'll probably end up feeling like a fraud when something goes wrong.

Happiness isn't just about feeling good, but also about being good to yourself and others, which takes time and effort on your part—and that's why chasing "the happy" will always lead to disappointment in the long run: You'll never achieve the state of mind where you feel content with yourself all day long by chasing a vague idea of happiness. The more we try to grasp onto this elusive goal of constant blissful contentment, the less likely we are able to appreciate what little joys life has to offer us when they come along (like an unexpectedly sunny day).

Adopt the Japanese Concept of Ikigai

So what should you do, if not chase happiness? Give up? No, not at all. We suggest looking into the Japanese concept of Ikigai. Ikigai translates to "the reason for which you get up in the morning," and it's about finding your purpose in life. As a culture, we tend to be focused on what makes us unhappy rather than focusing on what makes us happy; but when we're looking at our lives, it's important to look at both sides of the coin.


This exercise will give insight into areas where joy can be found again and again throughout different seasons. We recommend reading the book if this simple exercise does not help.

We are a society that is obsessed with finding happiness. We want to be happy, and we think that the key to this lies in the things we do or buy. But what if I told you there was another way? What if I told you that happiness isn't something that can be achieved through materialistic means or constant activity? Well, it's true! The only way to find true happiness is by living in accordance with your values and goals--not chasing fleeting moments of joy.

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